Don't Go Away
by shaddowsong
Summary: Pairing: Quinn/Rachel  Warnings: A little talk about suicide, but barely.  Spoilers: Kinda AU Season 2. Spoilers up to "Special Education."  Summary: Quinn's pretty sure people at McKinley are really unobservant. They don't seem to real


Title: Don't Go Away

Pairing: Quinn/Rachel

Warnings: A little talk about suicide, but barely.

Spoilers: Kinda AU Season 2. Spoilers up to "Special Education."

Summary: Quinn's pretty sure people at McKinley are really unobservant. They don't seem to realize that she and Sam aren't really dating or that Karofsky has found a new target. Uses "Don't go away" from Buckcherry.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

When Kurt left McKinley, Karofsky faded for about two weeks and then Rachel Berry started changing clothes three times a day. Quinn seemed to be the only one to notice. Then again, Quinn noticed a lot of things about Rachel—like the extra swagger in her hips when she power walked out of the room in one of her patented diva storm outs, or the way tears of any kind made her eyes shimmer like she was giving off light. Quinn decided she had never seen Rachel more beautiful than the day she stood in the hallway, tears streaming down her face, after her breakup with Finn(who totally didn't deserve her if he couldn't even notice the extra wardrobe changes). Quinn might have thought, for a second, that if she went over and kissed Rachel she could taste her soul.

She mentioned it to Sam one day, the clothes not her legs, when they were holed up in her room "making out" aka reading comic books. Sam had an unhealthy obsession with Superman and Quinn may or may not have had enough Batman comics to fill up her closet and several tubs under her bed. She might have also mention Rachel's legs.

"Three times a day?" Sam asked frowning, and then wrinkling his nose, "And stop talking about the muscles rippling in her legs. She's not a pa'li. It's creepy."

"You wouldn't mind if I was talking about Kurt's legs, would you Superman?" Quinn snapped, then sighed, "And, yes, three times a day. The thing is, I've never actually seen him the extra slushies. It's like he knows when I'm not looking at her and gets her."

"Are you sure it's him?"

"Yes. Absolutely sure."

"We'll have to pay closer attention. Maybe you could hang around her more. You know, actually talk to her."

Quinn scoffed, "Yeah that's not going to scare her at all. 'Hey Berry, I know I've practically ruined your high school experience, but I've secretly been in love with you since 9th grade. I'm sorry I was such a pressed lemon. I'm going to save you from Karofsky. Let's go makeout.'"

Sam didn't stop laughing until she threatened to rip his latest issue of Superman in half.

Three weeks later Quinn, and Sam by extension, were still the only ones who seemed to pay attention to Rachel, and it wasn't just the clothes anymore. She hadn't seen Rachel's light in forever- just big fat tears that mad Quinn angry and uncomfortable. Rachel had stopped ranting, and Quinn was able to get Sam to stare long enough at Rachel's ass to admit that even he noticed the swagger was gone. He asked Finn about his exgirlfriend/quasi friend and Finn said she wasn't acting any differently than normal, and that really she wasn't his problem anymore. Quinn wanted to take a batarang to his skull. Later, Sam had to grab her by the waist and drag her to the astronomy room when Quinn noticed Finn glancing at her breasts.

"I'm going to kill him! He can't just throw her aside like she's garbage! And who does he think he is looking at me like that? Especially when he thinks I'm with you! Hypocritical man baby—"  
>"Calm down, Batman. He's just a stupid jerk." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Shouldn't we be worried about Rachel?"<br>"I am," she growled.

"Then why don't we talk to her? If she's getting depressed.."  
>"She can't be. She's Rachel. She's withstood bullying for years. She brags about having a therapist on retainer." Quinn sighed, "She wouldn't talk to me anyways. Maybe she's just tired."<p>

Sam squeezed her shoulder and she didn't have to look to see the pity in his eyes. "Maybe," he agreed.

Two more weeks pass and Quinn hasn't seen Rachel's eyes in at least four days because her head is always down. Even in glee club. She doesn't smile and during the choreography her movements are precise but devoid of emotion and if Mr. Shue notices he doesn't say anything. Quinn is a little angry when Mercedes does and instead of asking what's wrong she calls Rachel a spoiled diva. Rachel doesn't respond and Quinn knows she's not tired but she doesn't know what to do about it. She's not even sure how to start a conversation. So the next day when she literally runs into Rachel in the library as the little diva is scurrying out, she thinks maybe it's a sign of some kind. Especially when, for a split second, Rachel glanced up at her in shock and Quinn gazed into startled chocolate.

"I'm sorry. So, so sorry," Rachel mumbled, immediately averting her gaze and scrambling to pick up the books that had exploded out of her arms.

Quinn kneeled next to her and tried to help. "It's okay, Rachel," she said and she hoped Rachel knew she wasn't just talking about the papers. She obviously didn't, mumbling a thank you and running from the library, as if Quinn was going to come after her with a slushy. Quinn sighed and glared at the carpet, "Just talk to her, he says. Yeah right." Just as she was about to stand up, she noticed a piece of paper sticking out from under a nearby table. She crawled over a picked them up, jumping when she felt a meaty hand on her shoulder.

It was only after she turned to find Finn shifting awkwardly behind her, his cheeks stained red, that she realized she'd been bent over with her ass in the air. She quickly shoved the papers in her chemistry book and stood, her eyebrow raised.

"Hey Quinn, you kinda look like you need some help, so.."  
>"I don't need anything from you," Quinn snapped before storming out of the library. She was sure Rachel would be proud.<p>

Halfway through 6th period, while her teacher was poorly attempting to explain covalent bonds, Quinn opened her book and found Rachel's papers. She really hoped Rachel didn't need any of them for this class period. There were three. The first was an old history quiz. Quiz focused on the gold star next to Rachel's name and her lips quirked. It turned into a full out smirk when she noticed a note from Rachel's teacher ("Three sentences, not seven Ms. Berry"). Apparently, Rachel rambled even when she wrote. The next paper was a detailed list of ideas for Regionals. Quinn frowned. Rachel hadn't mentioned any of them and most of them were really good. "I Follow Rivers" for Tina, "Turning Tables" for Mercedes and a random scribble about Daughtry and Puck. Quinn shook her head and focused her attention on the last piece of paper. Immediately, she forgot how to breathe. She blinked twice, trying to change the words in front of her but it didn't work. Her lungs were on fire and her eyes started to burn as they traced the words on the page.

_Dear Dad and Daddy,_

_ I'm sorry I haven't been able to talk to either of you. I know you're there for me, it's just so hard when there's nothing you can do. I can't be here anymore. It hurts so bad. I'm like Tinkerbell, I need someone to believe in me and no one here does. I'm not even human to them. No one notices when I act differently, unless they can use it to tear me down. Everyone rallied to Kurt when he was bullied, but I'm slushied three times a day and it's nothing, I'm sorry. I'm trying not to ramble. Everyone says I talk too much. That I'm selfish, and I guess since I'm writing this, I am. I love you more than anything. Always remember that._

_ Rachel_

Quinn read the letter over and over again, trying to read it as anything but a suicide letter. Maybe Rachel was asking about switching to an expensive private school like Kurt. Maybe she was going to run away. Maybe she was going to go home and get a knife… The bell rang and Quinn flinched. None of the options were okay. Rachel Berry couldn't leave. Quinn scooped her stuff and ran into the hallway. She needed to find Sam. He needed to tell her that she was blowing everything out of proportion. She almost sprinted to the Spanish room where she found Sam unpacking his bag. She ignored the eyes she could feel on her and locked eyes with Sam.

"We need to talk now."

His eyebrows furrowed, but he got up immediately, his blue eyes heavy with worry.

Santana's voiced snapped Quinn momentarily out of her trance, "Jesus, Q. Where's the fire? Did Lady Lips give you another pink positive?"

Quinn growled but before she could speak Brittany did.

"Don't be a meanie, S. Q's just worried about her owl."

Quinn raised her eyebrow and Santana looked a little bewildered.

"Her owl?"  
>"Yeah. She's not shiny anymore."<br>"Not now, S" Quinn snapped, "Sam?"

He stood up and grabbed her hand and she pulled him out of the classroom.

"Quinn?"

"Batcave."

As soon as they made it to the astronomy classroom, Quinn thrust the letter at his chest.

"Tell me this isn't what I think it is."

She watched his face furrow in confusion before he looked at the letter. She paced until his eyes started to water.

His voice was quiet, "Where did you?"

"Just tell me it isn't what I think it is?" She pleaded.

She watched his throat bob, "I can't."

A sob ripped from her throat and she threw herself at him. He held her tight as she babbled out words in between sobs.

"The library… and she dropped… and she just can't go. She can't go anywhere."

"Quinn"

"I'm going to kill Karofsky and shove slushy machine so far up his ass…"

"Quinn"

"And why hasn't anyone noticed? How can they be so dense?"

"Batman!"

"WE"RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE LADY BABIES!"

Quinn's eyes widened comically and Sam looked like he wasn't sure whether he was going to start laughing or crying. They ended up doing a little of both, until their tears ran out. Sam ran his fingers through his hair and Quinn rubbed at the silver cross on her neck.

"I think you just have to tell her."

"I already told you she wasn't going to believe me."

"Sing it to her."  
>"What?"<br>"Think about it. Music is the one thing Rachel always believes in. It's her green lantern. The only thing that charges her up and makes her feel like she can do anything."

Quinn sighed, "I know that. I just.. I can't sing like she can. And what if she doesn't want me? Or my help?"

"I think she does. Want you, that is. I have pretty exceptional gaydar."

"Superman—xray vision that sees through the steely façade of faux heterosexuality."

Sam bumped her should and they both chuckled.

"Got a song?"  
>"I think so."<p>

Quinn and Sam arrived twenty minutes late for Glee. It took a little longer than expected to find the sheet music and gather the courage to walk through the doors. Mr. Shuester paused in the middle of writing something that looked suspiciously like another "Journey" list on the whiteboard."

"Sam! Quinn! How good of you to join us"

Quinn's heart was pounding in her chest and she flared around the room. She knew they could probably tell that she had been crying. They looked at her, a little wary and a little curious. She raised her eyebrow when she saw a slightly disgruntled Santana sitting next to a beaming Brittany, who happened to be sitting rather closely to Rachel.

Mr. Shue cleared his throat, "Why don't you two go ahead and have a seat. We're—"  
>"I have a song to sing," Quinn stated.<p>

"That's nice, Quinn, but we're talking about a new Journey—"

Quinn put her hands on her hips and glared. "It wasn't a request."

His eyes widened and he faltered, "Well..but..I"

"Come on, Sam. Let's do this."

Mr. Shue's mouth opened and closed soundlessly, while Quinn made her way to the middle of the room and Sam pulled out his guitar. She heard a few people muttered but she focused her attention on Rachel, Her stomach flip flopped and she scowled momentarily. Rachel wasn't looking at her, but beside her, Brittany gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up. Quinn took a breath.

"I.. I did a lot of reflecting over the summer and it made me realize how important a certain someone means to me." Quinn grimaced when she saw the dopey hopeful look on Finn's face, but she continued, " I've been a little too…intimidated, I guess, to say anything."  
>Rachel still hadn't looked up and Quinn sighed. Sam nudged her. She shook her head and straightened her shoulders. "I realized today that I couldn't wait any longer to let you know someone cares for you. I care for you. Rachel Berry, this song is for you."<p>

Whispers started and Rachel's head snapped up. Her eyes were so dark. They rippled with confusion, fear, and sadness. Quinn missed the fire. For a second, she thought Rachel was going to run but then Brittany wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders, ignoring the girls instinctual flinch.

"It's going to be so pretty, Rach."

Quinn tried to smile, but she was too nervous. She took a breath and slowly released it before nodding to Sam. As he began to strum the opening chords, Quinn concentrated on putting everything she had into the song, because, dammit, she wanted those lady babies.

"In my darkest state of mind

I am riddled with despair

When I try and close my eyes

Your voice is all I hear

I will think of you tonight

I will hold back all my tears

I've waited all these years

Please don't go away

You're making a mistake

You and I were meant to be

You opened up my eyes

And made me realize

Now its changing everything

It's crazy how I feel this way

I can't explain don't go away

I see your shadow all the time

I see your face inside my mirror

Like a sunset in the sky

You distract me from my fears

I keep holding it inside

And I wish that you were near

It's better when You're here

Please don't go away

You're making a mistake

You and I were meant to be

You opened up my eyes

And made me realize

Now its changing everything

It's crazy how I feel this way

I can't explain don't go away

All the things you said

And all the games we played

Will come back to you

See the look in your eyes

Ooooh, don't' go away

Please don't go away

You're making a mistake

You and I were meant to be

Please don't go away

You're making a mistake

You and I were meant to be

You opened up my eyes

And made me realize

Now its changing everything

It's crazy how I feel this way

I can't explain why I feel this way

It's hard to say

I want to make you see

What you mean to me

Don't go away"

Throughout the song Quinn had gotten closer to Rachel and her voice had gotten thicker. She belted out the song as if Rachel's life depended on it. As the song ended, she found herself kneeling in front of Rachel. When the last note ended, Quinn reached forward and put her hand on Rachel's face. Her eyes were shimmering and they fluttered shut for a second when Quinn cupped her cheek. Silence echoed in the room. Rachel was searching Quinn's face for something and Quinn licked her lips before she spoke.

"You dropped your note in the library."

Rachel gasped and started to pull away but Quinn kept her in place by cradling her face in both hands.

"I've notice. I tried to catch him but I couldn't. I tried to tell myself that you were to strong to need me, no matter how much I wanted you to need me. I.." Quinn swallowed, "I realized today that I had to tell you. I notice you. I believe in you. You don't have to feel the same way I do, but at least let me be your friend."  
>Rachel's eyes flicked questioningly to Sam and Quinn answered the unspoken question.<p>

"He's my best friend, Rachel. Nothing more."

Rachel's hands came up and rested lightly on Quinn's wrists and , for a second, Quinn thought that Rachel was going to push her away. Then they slid up her arms and gripped her shoulders and Quinn's heart skipped a beat.

Rachel licked her lips, "What exactly are you telling me, Quinn?"

Quinn had been staring at Rachel's lips, but when she finished speaking she forced her self to look back into Rachel's eyes. She was pretty sure her heart had traveled to her throat because Rachel had glanced at her lips and now Rachel's eyes were glowing.

Quinn stammered. She couldn't remember exactly what she wanted to say because she could smell Rachel, and feel Rachel, and, God, she wanted to taste Rachel. She felt the hands on her shoulders tremble and she blurted out, "I want to be the Batman to your Catwoman."

Quinn's face turned red as Sam laughed and Santana snickered. Rachel just blinked, and Quinn scrambled to cover his slip up," What I mean—"

Rachel's smirked lightly and cut her off, "Quinn Fabray, are you telling me that you want to be the Ivy to my Harley?"

Quinn was pretty sure she fell in love with Rachel all over again. It didn't even matter that the couple Rachel referenced was mostly non-canon. She cleared her throat, "Only if you promise to stay away from the Joker."

Rachel's eyes flicked to Finn before she smiled and leaned closer. "I never really wanted the Joker to begin with."

Quinn knew there was a lot they had to talk about and Rachel would to talk to someone about the letter and things might get a little worse before they got better. But really, Rachel was speaking Batman and looking at her with her soul in her eyes and Quinn had no choice but to kiss her senseless.


End file.
